Protecting Ourselves

Whatever you did to survive your experience was the right thing.

Adults
We wish we could tell you something definitive that would ensure your future safety. There are no pat answers about what will increase your safety and reduce your vulnerability. Every situation is different. Every person is different. There is no way any one of us can be perfectly safe or invulnerable. To be human is to be fallible. In fact, coming to terms with your vulnerability is probably most critical to your future safety.

In terms of what to do in a dangerous situation, what works in one case may not work in another. You should do whatever seems best for you - it is your life at stake and only you can decide the best choices for you to make.

The prevention of sexual assault is partly a matter of anticipating risk, increasing your options, and believing you have the right to ask for what you need and to defend yourself. More than anything, it is a matter of trusting your intuition, using your common sense, and being assertive.

Being aware of possible danger is also a primary factor in prevention. Don't be afraid to create a scene if you are uncomfortable. If you are feeling unsafe with someone you know, test to see if that person will listen to your needs.

Children
We teach children how to prevent many dangers. But many of us fall short of teaching them about sexual assault. If you are uncomfortable talking with your child about these matters, find someone who will. We need to make clear to children that their bodies are their own and no one has the right to abuse them. In discussing prevention with children, it is helpful to give examples of situations without scaring them unnecessarily.

The most important prevention starts early, when you begin to validate your child's experience, help him or her express the natural feelings that accompany difficult or frightening life events. Children who have been encouraged to trust those feelings and demand their private space will be more able to assert themselves when someone attempts to intrude upon that space.